How to Break Up With a Really Nice Guy

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The man may call your bluff and leave you! For example, say something like, I'm sorry, but I don't have romantic feelings for you anymore.

They'd take it really hard if you formally rejected them, but cope much better if you slowly removed yourself from the equation. You can be clear and direct without insulting him to his face. There's Precisely No Future-Tripping If they stop making plans for the future, they might want out, Stefanie Safran, Chicago's Introductionista and founder of , tells Bustle.

3 Keys to Ending a Relationship With Dignity

A friend of mine has a go-to strategy for breaking up with someone who's not a bad person, just not the person for her: baked goods. On the day she's calling it quits with a man, she spends hours in the kitchen whipping up the treats he loves the most. I think it's much sweeter to break up with their favorite, she says. They can think of me with every single bite. While her approach may literally offer the spoonful of sugar that makes the bitter pill of a breakup easier to swallow, it's not always practical--or desirable--to show up with a platter of the scratch-made macaroons that his mama always made to show she loved him, just as you're breaking the news of how much you don't. First, remember that a nice man who has treated you well deserves and has earned your respect and consideration, which is why you must offer him the courtesy of a face-to-face. No fair taking the coward's way out with e-mail, texts, social media, or even a phone call. You're the one who's going to break his heart or at least wound his egoso step up and offer him the courtesy and common decency of doing it in person. And do not punk out, as one friend of mine tried to do, by staging the event in a public place to avoid a scene. Just as you would want to be somewhere safe and private for the emotional meltdown that can follow an unanticipated dumping, give him the courtesy of dropping the hammer somewhere private and comfortable. It's a cheap trick to break up in a crowd or somewhere like a parking lot as my friend proposed doingand offers no solace or privacy to the dumpee. Kindly tell him that this is exactly the reason you made this hard decision--because the differences in what you want mean you are constantly hurting someone you care about--and that it's best if you leave now. It's hard to do that without adding something mitigating But I'll call you, But we can talk later, But I do love you, etc. It's kinder than dragging things out or offering any false hope. Give your phone to a what to say to end a relationship nicely if you must. These rules also apply to texting and email and Facebook posts and tweets and Instagrams and the day you see his profile back up on the online dating site where you met. These types of breakup are the worst. Call a friend afterward and have some wine and calm down, and I promise, within a few days that awful feeling will lessen and you'll begin to feel relieved to have ended a relationship you knew wasn't going anywhere--and to have done it as kindly and respectfully as a nice guy deserves.

Speak directly and clearly to the person about how you feel and why you want to end the relationship. You may find that there's still hope of recovery - or discover that it really is time to go your own way. A break-up does not need to be a dramatic, escalating event. Consider any financial restraints your decision may cause him. Out of respect for each other, you should end a long-term relationship gracefully. It's hard to do that without adding something mitigating But I'll call you, But we can talk later, But I do love you, etc. Don't use the threat of leaving as a tool to get your own way in an argument. No relation to let people die. You don't have to be too rigid or organized about this, but it can help you avoid the pain of running into each other. I hope your next one is so much better because of what you have learned.